Frankly, I myself am not far off but one has to factor in the difference in culture and circumstance. The major factor to contend with is his father's habits. Having borrowed unto debt and providing near nothing for his family, Unoka gives Okonkwo no pride of being his son. Okonkwo has no shame in ensuring that he, essentially a self-made man, retains all that he has built and, quite understandably, has no patience for those who've not expended the effort he has to reach where they are (measured by titles and so forth). However, this, according to the current prevailing view on such matters, does nor forgive beating his wives nor inciting violence and insults on others.
But it is this cutthroat nature of his that allowed him to rise to the position he has from almost literally nothing. His social prowess and physical ability earned him many favors and fame for his efforts. He made his way on lack of sympathy, himself having had none during his childhood. The nature of his way of life simply saw unjust actions and far harsher, which is enunciated in his own arrogance, an unfortunate side effect of his intensive work to make himself who he his. He is not the philospher type to ponder moralities but the practical type to be in control.
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